There’s a saying, if you could call it that, by someone I know that goes like this: “I just don’t know”.  I’ve caught myself saying, or rather thinking that a lot here lately.  I just don’t know.  God’s up to something, but I really just don’t understand what or his purpose for it.  Yet.  I know that He’s up to something and I know it’s going to be a whole lot better than I’ve ever imagined it to be.

One morning while I was about to drive over the bridge to go to work, I was thinking and wondering about how life sometimes is like living in a fog.  Sometimes in your walk with Christ, I believe that’s what life is like.  There’s a place we need to be, but not a place we are just yet.  If we saw that distant place where we need to be (in it’s entirety), I think it’d either overwhelm us, push us to pride or push us to something else unholy.  Instead, along the way we’re giving just little bits and pieces as to what God has in store, but not enough to hinder the journey that must happen along the way.  In that journey is a lot of things that, quite honestly, aren’t always easy, desired, or quick to go through.  Sometimes there’s lessons that we have to learn that could take months.  Sometimes there’s loneliness that must come.  There’s a lot of different things that will come our way.

Just like the great men of the Bible, we have to persevere.  We have to be courageous.  We have to be willing to let go and let God work.  Think about it, many of the great men of the Bible had to go years without the promise God had given them.  There were many days of loneliness and depression that these men went through.  Life, the Christian life, is a process, a continue process, one that calls us to daily die to ourselves and yield to His calling and direction.  Some days it may be easy; other days it may be the hardest thing to do.

As with a fog, when you’re in the area general area of an object or a group of people, things seem clear.  Such it is with our walk.  Put another way, it’s baby steps.  You can’t just run all the way up the mountain and clear the fog.  I was talking with someone tonight who told me that you just have to take small steps, one at a time.  This is something that I’ve really had to learn lately because I look at the big picture of something and sometimes get overwhelmed, when if it’s just broken up into smaller steps, it’s much more manageable and actually an easy thing to get accomplished.

There’s a quote I stole from somewhere that says, “don’t rely on feelings, but on God’s faithfulness”.  Always He’s faithful.  There’s a song by Hillsong called “You Are Faithful” that I really like because no matter what our circumstances and no matter what’s going on, He is Faithful.  “Always You’re with me / Your hand will lift me / My trust is in Your hands”.  No matter what, he is faithful and just like God said to Joshua, he will never leave us or forsaken us, or as another translation puts it “I will not fail you or abandon you“.

Has anyone else felt like they were living in a fog?  Be strong, take courage, and run the race that Christ has set forth in order that we may win the prize.  It may not always be easy, but the end will justify the pain it took to get us there.  And remember: it’s not about you.  You aren’t in control.  Christ is in control.  We have to let go of the wheel and surrender complete control.  Finally remember, His ways are perfect while ours, on our own, will always fall short.

Something I’ve struggled with most, I think, is this sin.  I love the feeling of being in control.  I hate being wrong about most things.  I hate something I’ve done to be talked about in a negative way.  I see many things as challenges — if someone says I can’t do something like they want, I see it as a challenge.

The thing that’s hard for me is this: how do you overcome pride?  I’m honestly not sure, other than getting close to Christ and staying in that place where only he can get the glory.  The point where we’re in complete trust of what Christ is doing in our lives (and wants to do in our lives).

I think, in many ways, I’ve never really realized these things until the last year or so and also with starting work.  I’ve realized this for a while now, but it’s really beyond me of how to “fix” it.  I can’t fix it.  Only the Holy Spirit can teach me how to walk in humility.  That’s part of the journey, I think, that I’m on right now, though there are a lot of other things mixed in …

Look down from a broken sky
Traced out by the city lights
My world from a mile high
Best seat in the house tonight

Touch down on the cold black top
Hold on for the sudden stop
Breath in the familiar shock
Of confusion and chaos

All those people going somewhere
Why have I never cared

Give me your eyes for just one second
Give me your eyes so I can see
Everything that I keep missing
Give me your love for humanity
Give me your arms for the broken hearted
The ones that are far beyond my reach
Give me you heart for the ones forgotten
Give me your eyes so I can see

Yeah Yeah Yeah Yeah

Step out on a busy street
See a girl and our eyes meet
Does her best to smile at me
To hide what’s underneath

There’s a man just to her right
Too ashamed to tell his wife
He’s out of work, He’s buying time

I’ve been here a million times
A couple of million eyes
Just move and pass me by
I swear I never thought that I was wrong
I need a second glance
Give me a second chance
To see the way you’ve seen the people all along

Edit there’s now a video to the song on Brandon Heath’s website, you can watch the video, Give Me Your Eyes, here.

So far I’ve just seen a little piece of Montgomery, and the rest has been clouds (about thirty minutes in).  When I looked out and watched the plane ascend, my eyes misted in the thought of how amazing my God is.  He is beyond amazing, beyond describable.  I think about the times throughout the day that I’ve overlooked something, such as the rain, as just something common and not for what it is – amazing.
It has probably been a few years ago now, but someone mentioned how when she was praying one day she just recognized and thanked God for the beauty of the things He created and how the response was, “thanks for noticing”.  It was something I will never forget.  Christ reveals His love throughout life, but all so often we look the other way or treat the good He’s shown us as commonplace — and all too often, we complain about it.

We complain about the rain.  We complain about it being too hot or too cold.  We complain that it only rained a little.  We complain about so many things, things that are beyond our control and solely in His.  I’m guilty of the same, and I probably do it countless times a day, but when was the last time we took the time to just be thankful.  You’re going to the lake and it rains, and we complain.  Why are we ungrateful for the rain when we’ve been praying for rain?  Often times, it’s just because it came at an inopportune time.  Are we going to complain when Christ returns that it was at an inopportune time for us?  Why do I spend so much time complaining, and so little time being thankful?

I want to be completely awed and amazed at how great and amazing He truly is.  Is it possible to always be thankful?  Yes.  Is it something that’s easily done?  No.  It’s something we must actively do.

How, in the ways that Christ expresses His love and beauty, can one still adamantly reject the One who created life?  He makes Himself so visible to those who truly seek Him.  And His beauty is amazing.  His creation is so wonderful, and the wonder of it all is that, in everything He created, He created us — to have a wonderful relationship with Himself.

He truly is amazing, wonderful, and grand … and He is the true source of all life!

In all directions, all that could be seen is the darkness and blackness of the storm clouds overhead.  The wind was violent, tossing the small, covered boat back and forth.  The man on board felt an overwhelming sense of dread as the roar of the waves and the crashing of the thunder beat down on him.  The storms he had faced prior were small, perhaps even preparing him for this.  This was bigger – much bigger.  The man had heard of people overcoming storms like this before, but as the boat began to splinter, so did his heart and soul.

For hours, the horrific storm beat down.  His body became broken, his soul became weak.  The hours turned into days, as the storm tore apart the small boat.  He cried out to God day and night, but it seemed in vain.

He longed to see clearer, brighter days.  He wanted to hope again.  He sought the shelter of the everlasting Father.  Where was rest to be found?  It was a storm without relent.  As it bore on him day after day and night after night, he began to become weaker.

He cried out constantly for the storm to cease, but it pressed on.  Through the winter, through the spring, and to the summer where the seasons seemed to join, the soul began to see.  The shelter that had once been a mighty boat was now reduced to merely a boat with a sail.  The powerful storm was no more.  The prayers that once seemed in vain became clear.  The sheltered heart that had not known love now saw clearly.  What was broken once had been made pliable in order to be made new again.  The soul that once was hopeless, now found hope.  Where his only sail would take him, only God could know.  Without the storm, the shelter couldn’t have been destroyed.  And without the shelter being destroyed, the broken heart would never have been mended and restored.

The man in the mirror couldn’t understand what was occurring in his soul – all he could see were the waves crashing all around.  The purifying and refining fire that burned in his soul was only the beginning of what began many years ago with a whisper and a prayer.

I worked the entire summer, which was great for many reasons.  This year was quite possibly the best summer I have had working over there.  I worked in one spot the entire time, where there were a few mix-ups of staff, so I was able to actually do things that mattered.

A little over a year ago, I started talking to Katharine.  On August 13th we went to a movie, and we’ve met up a few more times over the last two weeks.  We went to the lake this past Saturday and watched a movie — pretty much just made a whole day of getting to better know each other.

That’s all I have for now!

And being let go, they went to their own companions and reported all that the chief priests and elders had said to them. So when they heard that, they raised their voice to God with one accord and said: “Lord, You are God, who made heaven and earth and the sea, and all that is in them, who by the mouth of Your servant David have said:

‘Why did the nations rage,
And the people plot vain things?
The kings of the earth took their stand,
And the rulers were gathered together
Against the LORD and against His Christ.’

“For truly against Your holy Servant Jesus, whom You anointed, both Herod and Pontius Pilate, with the Gentiles and the people of Israel, were gathered together to do whatever Your hand and Your purpose determined before to be done. Now, Lord, look on their threats, and grant to Your servants that with all boldness they may speak Your word, by stretching out Your hand to heal, and that signs and wonders may be done through the name of Your holy Servant Jesus.”
And when they had prayed, the place where they were assembled together was shaken; and they were all filled with the Holy Spirit, and they spoke the word of God with boldness.

The Amplified says, “And when they had prayed, the place in which they were assembled was shaken; and they were all filled with the Holy Spirit, and they continued to speak the Word of God with freedom and boldness and courage.” Earlier in the prayer it says with full freedom to declare God’s message. That is what I want, full freedom and boldness. Christ has called us to proclaim His name, and spread his love and glory everywhere. There are those in other countries literally laying down their lives, and we’re often times too scared about what a classmate or coworker may say if we proclaim Jesus name. We have to become knowledgeable about the things of God — ignorance is no excuse, especially since we have the Word of God.

We need a passionate army for Christ.

I’m not really sure.  We’re easy to judge the “big” sins and easy to excuse the “little” sins.  You know what I mean, another Christian friend says, “it’s not really a lie, it’s just ‘extending’ the truth a little”.  Or “it’s like driving on the highway — everyone speeds, so it’s perfectly fine if you lie — everyone lies”.  Wherever did holiness and truth go?  However, we’re quick to judge those of the world (those not a part of our church, or the church as a whole).  We even judge people before we know if they’re guilty.  Every day on the news, someone is being accused of something — and we go right ahead and judge them, saying they should be locked away for life.

As for me, if I am doing anything that is sinful, I want someone to tell me and push me to remove it from my life.  Paul went as far as to say they should be removed from the church if they continue to live in sin so that they may return to the truth (read 1st Corinthians 5 for one of the times this is mentioned).  I’m not saying we should throw out everyone in our churches for sin — because we all sin — but we should be striving to remove it from our lives.  In 1st Corinthians 5:11, Paul says that we should not “associate with people who claims to be a believer yet indulges in sexual sin”.  He even made it clear that he did not mean those who were not claiming to be a Christian, but those who were claiming to be.

But this brings up the other point, why are we so hard on the non-believers?  We have to love them and show them the love of Christ, so that they will see who Christ is, through us.  We can’t remain in sin and try to lead others to Christ (then you’ll have a liberal-Christianity that does not follow the Bible, which is another topic in itself).  We have to show them love.  We have to show them what we believe what we believe, and why.

Now am I saying we have to do works to be a Christian?  No.  Actually, none of this is a work.  Christ said to the rich young ruler that he had to sell all of his earthly possessions to receive eternal life — that’s a “work”, but why did he say it?  He said that because Christ wanted to man to change his heart, to love Christ.  A mind change can’t get you to heaven, it’s a heart change.  It’s like a marriage, when you get married you aren’t going to have a few people on the side still.  The spouse should now have your heart.  In the same way, when we accept Christ, we have to change our hearts.  When you give Christ your heart, it will motivate you to want to remove those sins in your life.  There’s a quote in the book I read a few months ago, “When Heaven Weeps” (Ted Dekker) that says, “If you say you love Christ, but are not driven to throw away everything for that pearl of great price, you deceive yourself. This is what Christ said.”

Anyway, I’ve just had that on my mind for a while.

I have been going fishing this year. I have been reading more books this year. I have been drinking more water lately. Lately, I have been eating less chocolate (partly because I forget until late at night). I have been learning that some opinions are better kept silent, while others may be better voiced – though most people think I am “normally” silent anyway. I have been doing more things that are random. I have been thinking more positive. With all that, I am still learning.

I think all of what I have really been learning can all boil down to one thing and that’s trusting God no matter what.

In a final quick closing, I rewrote the entire backend for MinistryTalk.com and added a few more features. I opened the new site up to the public yesterday, and I think it will greatly help the churches involved. Anyway, I have a book I started several weeks ago that I should start trying to finish …

I stopped receiving CCM magazine a few years ago, but all is not lost. Anyone can read the article thanks to Nichole Nordeman and CCM. Her website states:

CCM has partnered with Nichole Nordeman to bring this special digital issue to you, their fans, absolutely FREE! Just click on this link and use the login listed below:
Username: freeissue0704 & Password: name417

Like what you read? Spread the word and pass it along – it’s free for your family & friends, too!

This is one of those articles I recommend that everyone check out because it is good to know that it is not just everyday people who face these issues. This article starts on page 48.

Are you amazed? Am I amazed, that was the question on Easter. Are you amazed? I am amazed at God’s greatness, at his creation, at his majestic show of beauty. I look at his beautiful creation and I just give God thanks and praise. He shows his holiness through His creation. It is greater than I can even comprehend.

I’ve fallen in love with Psalm 19, which is broken up into three specific parts. My Bible’s notes say the following (which sums it up better than I can put it):

As God reveals himself through nature (19:1-6), we learn about his power and our finiteness. As God reveals himself through Scripture (19:7-11), we learn about his holiness and our sinfulness. As God reveals himself through daily experiences (19:12-14), we learn about his gracious forgiveness that frees us from guilt. (Life Application Study Bible NLT, Psalm 19 note)

I’ve committed myself to memorizing Psalm 19. The last verse (19:14) is my prayer, “May the words of my mouth, and the meditations of my heart / be pleasing to you, Oh Lord my rock and my redeemer”. Or, as the Amplified says: “my firm, impenetrable rock and my redeemer”. So to borrow from Sunday, are you amazed?

This would be something I quickly wrote. It’s just some things that were on my mind and almost completely random. Or were they.

There’s an awesome Psalm that I might write more about later (along with Psalm 19, because it’s one of my favorites right now) …

This is Psalm 73, a Psalm of Asaph. Asaph had started “envying the proud when he saw them prospering despite their wickedness” (Psalm 73:3 NLT).  I’m not about to post the entire Psalm, as it’s not sort, but here’s the part I love — he realizes how “my health may fail, and my spirit may grow weak, but God remains the strength of my heart; he is mine forever” (Psalm 73:26 NLT).  Here’s Psalm 73:20-26 NLT.

When you arise, O Lord,
      you will laugh at their silly ideas
      as a person laughs at dreams in the morning.

Then I realized that my heart was bitter,
      and I was all torn up inside.
I was so foolish and ignorant—
      I must have seemed like a senseless animal to you.
Yet I still belong to you;
      you hold my right hand.
You guide me with your counsel,
      leading me to a glorious destiny.
Whom have I in heaven but you?
      I desire you more than anything on earth.
My health may fail, and my spirit may grow weak,
      but God remains the strength of my heart;
      he is mine forever.

Whom in heaven have I but you, God?  I desire you more than anything on earth.  As the Amplified version says, “I have no delight or desire on earth besides You.”  This should be our prayer.  And as the New King James says, “My flesh and my heart fail; but God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever.”

Before I close this, I probably should mention a little more about this.  I read this Psalm because I had heard a message on a podcast recently.  I liked it then and had it book marked, but while I was sick a few weeks ago, I heard a song by BarlowGirl come on ChristianPowerPraise.net which is Psalm 73 (My God’s Enough).  It’s a great song, and I recommend it.

So many things are just frustrating and confusing me.  I see this and that and I push to do what is right, but there’s times where I just feel worn out.  It’s been almost five years and I have no one to confide in here.  I’m not wanting sympathy, partly because I think this is somewhat of a phase in life anyway.  If I have to stay in the wilderness (as it often appears) for the next 20 years to move to where God has for me, then I’d rather stay there.  What makes it frustrating is when some things look lost.  I don’t want to move until God tells me to move.  It’s discouraging sometimes looking at where others are and feeling there’s no hope to get even close to where they are.  I know there’s hope though.  There’s always hope.

In the mean time, I’ve been listening to my pastor at church and many different podcasts.  If it weren’t for podcasting, I don’t know where I’d be.  Lately I’ve been listening to theMill, Desperation, _tag, and the onething podcasts.

Someone told me something about how things were going with them, and I shared some of what going on with me.  I learned something though that conversation though, and that is that sometimes what we see in others really isn’t bad, but rather good — even when it appears horrible or hopeless.  I have no idea where God has them or me.  He may have me somewhere all alone for many years, yet if I were to pass that time up and run after my own desires nothing that God had for me to do could be accomplished (or it could, it would just probably take a lot longer and a lot more heartache).  Strangely enough, I’ve been thinking about this for the past few days and was awakened at 6:19 (I set my alarm clock weird) by a radio program, which I don’t regularly listen to (time: obviously). The speaker was talking about Joseph and how the time he had been in prison helped build his character. On another note, he mentioned he didn’t complain either. I may have missed the entire point he was trying to make (as I only heard around five minutes of it), but that was just what I needed to hear. That said, I’ve heard it before already at my church …

I said school wasn’t one, but it’s strange because three of my classes are all different, yet they’re all talking about the same thing in different ways (sometimes).  The thing I am picking up most is the economic side of things, which is quite interesting.  This is just a side note though…

Basically everything I’ve listened to lately all agrees with each other (all they all come from all over the place). I watched a movie last night that taught me a lot about how to live life – selfless. There’s just a lot of things that just been going on, and I’m just praying that I stop trying to figure it all out, and just step back and let God do what he wants to do. The more knowledge I have, the more useless I am – if that’s all I have. The more I try to figure things out, the more I see there are some things that aren’t meant to be figured out by my own human wisdom. It’s frustrating sometimes, no doubt, but it’s the only way to go. As much as I wish I’m over all of what I’ve been hearing, I’m not. So, I’m learning …

Several days ago I was listening to someone speak on fasting, and some of the things you can fast from (because fasting can also mean “a period of refrain”). While I wasn’t as focused on what exactly was being said, I found something that stuck out to me: you can refrain from criticism for a period of time. Now, I love to point out people’s flaws so refraining from criticism can’t be easy. I mean, look at how people park in a parking lot! Just plain bad sometimes. But what if there was a reason for it? Sure, the parking may still be bad, but what if the reason they parked so “bad” was because of some external reason, say perhaps there was a buggy in their way?

I’ve been thinking about it a lot lately and I’ve started just telling myself “don’t criticize” when I feel so inclined to do so. I’m good at judging people before I know them a lot of times. I don’t know exactly why I feel inclined to point out others faults, especially when I’m no better than they are, sometimes more so than others. I remember a few days ago when I said something about how someone could be put in jail for a specific action they did – all the while not thinking that I could be found guilty of the same thing. When I look at people, I no longer what to think or see the “wrong” they may be in. I want to love them. Love never fails.

So this is what I’ve been learning lately. I’m not near the end of the tunnel, and I don’t see myself as “fasting” criticism, but rather trying to escape it. How can I really judge others, condemning them, while I myself am just as guilty of the same sins they are? Jesus said that if we lust after someone we’ve already committed adultery in our hearts. In the same way, if I judge someone for doing something that I have only acted upon in my mind, how much different is it? I committed the same sin, yet I judge the other person for acting upon it. I don’t ever want to do that, yet I have before and I still do. I think it’s something that we as a body of believers should long to be free of, not just because it may be a “noble” thing to do, but because it’s the Biblical thing to do.

I’m not going to say I know that answer, because I really don’t know exactly myself. Entertainment in itself isn’t bad. I like to watch movies sometimes, play games, and the like. There is always a point where too much can become a bad thing, though. There’s a point where it can steal away and blind a people from the things of God, from living our life in positive worship to God.

I enjoy playing video games. Is this wrong? No. Too much time spent playing them can be though. I’m writing to myself tonight. There’s been weeks I’ve spent hours and hours just wasting away at video games. I’m not alone, I’m sure there are other people who spend three and four times as much time as I do playing games. I think many times it’s a way to fulfill a need of just something to do.

I’m, in no way, trying to say spending a little time playing video games is wrong. There are certain games, movies, and music (all entertainment) that I do believe is wrong or can be wrong. I’ve wrote several things about my thoughts on those here.

I’ve been thinking a little bit tonight. I think often times pushes us away from Christ. From a military standpoint, I believe this would be a good idea for an enemy. If there is a way to preoccupy the opposing foe with fun and enjoyment, it will both blind and weaken the enemy. If this enemy is blind to the army all around it that is about to overtake it, it cannot fight (blinded). It cannot attempt to fight if it’s not trained (weakened). It’s a great strategy, and is used in diversions – where the opposing side brings a small force to the diversion front, but then surprise attacks from another direction.

In the same way, I believe, we can be – and are being – blinded and weakened. We spend time entertaining ourselves, while not realizing there’s an enemy at our doorstep. We are weakened by not knowing the Word of God. I think we’re all guilty, and no one can ever fully be prepared. However, we can prepare. We all cave in to sin at times even though we don’t want to, but even so God has given us everything we need for life and Godliness.

Do I know all of the Bible? Of course not. I dislike, and think I’m horrible, at memorization, and honestly take less time than I should at trying to memorize. I still need work in areas. There’s obvious things we can do though, such as limiting our time on the computer, watching TV, and just wasting time with stuff that doesn’t matter ten minutes from that point. I guess what I’m trying to say, is that I need to get more serious. It’s not always easy going through stuff alone. Sometimes it feels like I’m alone, but I know that I’m not alone. There’s always going to be valleys and trials, those are always the times where faith is decided. And we must go through those valleys, because those are the times where character is built.

To sum it all up, we need more of Jesus, less of us. More love for Christ and others, less self-love. There’s a real enemy out there. We, myself included, need to wake up. What are we going to be committed to?

Good Christian Worship, Rock, and Contemporary Music

The other one I “failed” was what I’m glad I failed in. I don’t want any relationship that will hinder God’s work in my life. In the same way, I also don’t want to push things into being when God has a perfect plan. Abram tried to make God’s will happen — it’s a lesson I need to learn. I don’t want any sort of relationship until I’m refined and made into the person God wants me to be. If something comes, then it comes. I like how I heard someone put it on a podcast I listen to: if while you’re running after God you find someone running alongside you, then you never know a relationship may come out of it. I’m willing to wait for someone who God’s placed there, and not someone I just “want” or “wish” to be there. If God has me to walk in the wilderness alone for a while, there’s no other place I’d rather be.

The thing that I’ve been learning lately is just the beauty of God and that God’s love for us is exponentially great, no matter where I’ve been or what I’ve done.

How we’ve put science into explaining the things God has made, while completely discrediting the creator of those things … So many times I completely forget the greatness of God. He’s King above all kings, Alpha and Omega, Beginning and the End, the Savior, the Holy One, Creator, Healer …

So my Resolution this year, 2007?

I want to be closer to the lover of my soul: the one who loves me more than I could ever know, understand, or imagine. The thing I want most is this. A deeper passion, longing, and desire for the Holy One. The one of perfect purity, holiness. That’s just the deepest part of who I am, who I want to be, and who I’m becoming. I don’t want any part of my life to reflect anyone or anything other than Christ.

Behold His Majesty, the King of every king!
Glorious God, You are Glorious God
He walks on wind and sea, creation joins to sing
Glorious God, You are Glorious God

Waves crash in honor of You
Skies break to make way for You
Worship our Glorious, worship our Glorious

Mountains bow down at Your throne
Valleys rise up to adore
Worship our Glorious, worship our Glorious

Saints who’ve been captured by grace
Rise up as one, take your place
And worship our Glorious, worship our Glorious God

You are Glorious God, You are Glorious God
You are Glorious God, You are Glorious God

Glorious God (words by Jon Egan)

He’s glorious, the King of every king! He’s wonderful, beautiful, glorious, matchless in EVERY WAY. Nothing can compare the greatness of our God. The light that outshines all light, the author of creation. Our God reigns. He’s matchless in every way, nothing even comes close in comparison to the greatness of our God. Everything fails in comparison.

That’s my only resolution. It’s all that matters, everything else just fades away. I’m not sure where I got this image, but it sums up just about everything, I think. Jesus Christ for Life. Everything else fades away.

Exploring Global Warming and the Lesser Known Theories

Global warming, the name of the phenomenon believed to be causing the Earth’s temperatures to increase over the past fifty years, has led many scientists to attempt to persuade much of Earth’s inhabitants to lay off fuels that are believed to be the cause of such warming. As of now, there are no scientists who deny the fact that global warming is occurring; however, there are some scientists who do not accept the varying theories of what is actually causing global warming (“Global warming”). Other than just effecting temperature averages on the Earth, scientists believe that global warming could also negatively bring about climatic changes, such as floods and hurricanes (“Global warming”). Humans may have an affect on the total outcome of global warming; however, the scientists who reject these views have “seen their grant funds disappear, their work derided, and themselves libeled as industry stooges, scientific hacks or worse” (Lindzen).

Christian Morals in Sir Gawain and the Green Knight and The Tempest

There are many different morals and themes in the Middle English Arthurian romance of Sir Gawain and the Green Knight and the more modern play by William Shakespeare, The Tempest. While each story has nothing, dealing with the plot, in common, there are a few similarities between how each handles certain themes, namely forgiveness. Being as each poem was written in another period in time from the other, and the fact that there is only one source for Sir Gawain and the Green Knight (Gawain 201), it is sufficient to say that Shakespeare probably did not receive any literary ideas from it when writing The Tempest. Furthermore, The Tempest is not considered by most to be a Christian play, and strictly it isn’t. It was written during a time when Christianity heavily influenced European society, however. On the other hand, Sir Gawain and the Green Knight is considered to be a Christian poem, or it was at the least heavily influenced by Christianity. Some of the Christian symbolism is unclear in a first reading of Sir Gawain and the Green Knight, while being exceptionally well hidden in The Tempest. The theme which dominates each text is that of forgiveness and the recourse thereof, this being the main Christian moral. While not being specific in the use of Christian concepts and ideas, each use extensive symbolism and allegory to derive the concepts and ideas of Christianity.

So there they are …

The LORD reigns, let the earth be glad;
       let the distant shores rejoice.

Clouds and thick darkness surround him;
       righteousness and justice are the foundation of his throne.

Fire goes before him
       and consumes his foes on every side.

His lightning lights up the world;
       the earth sees and trembles.

The mountains melt like wax before the LORD,
       before the Lord of all the earth.

The heavens proclaim his righteousness,
       and all the peoples see his glory.

All who worship images are put to shame,
       those who boast in idols—
       worship him, all you gods!

Zion hears and rejoices
       and the villages of Judah are glad
       because of your judgments, O LORD.

For you, O LORD, are the Most High over all the earth;
       you are exalted far above all gods.

Let those who love the LORD hate evil,
       for he guards the lives of his faithful ones
       and delivers them from the hand of the wicked.

Light is shed upon the righteous
       and joy on the upright in heart.

Rejoice in the LORD, you who are righteous,
       and praise his holy name.

—Psalm 97 (NIV)

My favorite line is verse 2, “Clouds and thick darkness surround him; righteousness and justice are the foundation of his throne.“

Lately it has seemed like there’s a struggle for me to trust God.  I think I’ve always been a pretty trusting person (with anyone and everyone), but maybe not with God.  Often times I just take someone’s word for things, and trust that they’ll follow thru with what they say.  Most of the time it works out that way.  There’s been a few times it hasn’t, though.  Anyway, I wanted to share that first.

Several weeks ago one of my friends, Catherine, asked me what was one thing I wanted to see before I died.  I’m not sure why I was so quick, because normally I would hesitate over a question like that.  This time I didn’t.  I told her that I would like to see my prayers answered.  I wasn’t talking about the selfish “I want a friend” prayers, I meant the ones I’ve prayed over this city.  If there’s one thing I want to see, that’s it.  I remember many months ago praying over each and every person in my graduating yearbook (all the classes and teachers).  What I want to see is each of them see God and his Holiness fully.  Not “church” and not “religion”.  God.  Maybe that’s a selfish want, but I think it’s my only want — sometimes the only thing I live for.

Now, lately I’ve been doubting God.  Not who he is, but just that he’s in control.  This can be combined with what I talked about first; however, this is a little different because it’s more like the “give up faith (Christianity)” type doubts.  Some are even just leave the church I’m in (I like my church).

I’ve been evaluating my negativity on things.  Perhaps this ties in with the amount of news I used to take in.  Maybe it’s just generational.  I’m not sure.  But I’ve been evaluating it, but haven’t changed much I don’t think.  I want to be positive though.  I guess when I think positive, it sometimes seems to worst happens.  That’s kind of a positive negative though?

I try not to get as caught up in the news anymore.  I remember a few months ago on Fox News Channel, all I saw was mudslinging (by the left) and avoiding of the questions (from the right).  It made me sick, and I don’t think I’ve watched an hour of news since then.  I still like to see what’s going on, though.  I’ve also found out that if I want unbiased news, the best place to look is at the raw data.  Media write ups sometimes distort the truth.  If I’ve lost faith in anything, it’s unbiased news.  Also, never look for anything warm hearted in the news.  If they aren’t mudslinging, then it’s not going to be on the news most of the time.  Not all news is bad, but getting too caught up in it can be bad.

Along those same lines, I’m disgusted by how people suddenly switch sides when they lose.  I’ve heard lately that “Republicans left values voters”, and are now praising Democrats when just a few weeks ago they were touting Republican values.  It makes me sick.  It’s like a guy hoping his team wins, but when they lose they go buy the other teams jersey so people won’t look at them and pick on him because his team lost.  I don’t want to get too political this time, but I’m still a straight ticket-Republican, and unless they became John McCainish, I’ll hope to remain that way until the day I die.  The innocent souls that have been murdered by abortion still cry out.  Another day without justice.

Next, the Old Testament.  Maybe I’m just reading a little too hard, but most of the “old law” is in the Torah (the first five books of the Bible).  Now, I fully understand the characters in each of the Old Testament books were under the old law, I do not get where people think that God somehow changed between then and now.  I’ve saw it often lately, if something is quoted from the Old Testament, everyone wants to get on the bandwagon of “that’s the old law, it doesn’t apply to us”.  If there’s one reason why we are where we are today, this might be it.

I think some of the best parts of the Old Testament are 1st and 2nd Samuel and 1st and 2nd Kings.  I don’t think you can fully understand who God is without reading those four books.  There are so many different themes there, for example about how to fear God, have a heart like God, and the list can go on.  The New Testament fully agrees with the Old.

When God left and rejected Saul, why did he do that?  He called and appointed Saul to his position.  Why did David have a heart of God, yet he went and committed adultery and (to an extent) turned his back on God for a year?  Saul pursued God at the beginning, yet when God rejected him he had disobeyed God countless times (in a sense, rejecting God).  Did Saul do wrong the entire time?  Of course not, God appointed him there.  I believe he wasn’t sincere in his repentance, while David was.  That’s why David was a man after God’s own Heart.

Why did David kill the man who said he killed Saul?  Because Saul was God’s appointed leader.  David had a reverent Fear of God.  He even had chances to kill Saul, but refused to do so because Saul was God’s appointed leader.  God put him there, and David would not speak evil of Saul.  This still applies today.  There have been several different men of God that’s been in the news over the many years, and I always try to be careful not to speak evil of any of them — even if I don’t agree with what they do.  God could have appointed them, but just like Saul, they could have became corrupt.

I remember a few years ago I went to a church and I didn’t feel right there.  I went a time or two and just didn’t feel right.  However, I went one Sunday and I did feel right.  It was different speakers each times.  I remember telling my mom I didn’t feel right about it, and she later told me she felt the same way.  Now, I passed by where the church was a year or so later and the place was gone.  My mom pointed it out, and the person with us asked about it and I said the church was wrong.  Almost instantly, I knew I was wrong (and my mom pointed out the wrong too).  While the church may have had a false teacher, that didn’t make the people or the other leaders ungodly, nor did it mean that they were not appointed by God.

There are also ways to approach people like this.  For this look at Samuel, who was obviously in constant communication with God.  Did Samuel go and discuss it with his friends (and thus the world) and say “this man is ungodly”?  No, actually he told David he was to be the next King of Israel.  I think we should be very cautious in this.  Like the man who said he killed Saul, you may also die.

Anyway, there’s just a few things that’s been going on lately that’s been heavy on my heart and mind … and some of the reason why I’ve not blogged much lately …

Registration for spring semester starts Tuesday.  I called to see how I could change my major, and I’ve got to fill out a form.  Right now I’m thinking about changing it to Information Systems.  It’s sounds more like what I’m interested in.  I don’t care for this math major I have now.  I’ll update on how that goes later …

After the major change, I’ll need to see a new advisor and figure out the classes I need to take next semester.

I’ve thought about many things lately.  And learned a bit too.  Or I am learning …

All this stuff I’m doing in school seems down right senseless and useless.  That’s probably one of the things I’m learning thought.  I love all my classes (minus the computer one; math goes by so quick it frustrates me to want to give up).  The literature class is interesting with all the history.  I’ll be thoroughly surprised if I ever need the Shakespeare and Chaucer, though.  Biology is so-so.  All it is is note taking.  I can’t hardly read the instructors cursive though.  Biology lab is all right.  I think I have the smallest group with only one other person.  Sometimes we have to combine, and some of the others we combine with are lazy in answering the questions.  It bugs me.  More work for us later.  The computer one is ultra-boredom.  The way I’ve heard others talk about the class, they aren’t doing good — makes me feel bad (as I don’t even listen to lectures or read anything and get good test-grades).  I guess that’s how people who excel in literature feel when I get the low grade.  Maybe.  Math is just frustrating.

Last Wednesday, Tim got a new server.  Not much downtime.  It was better than the previous server moves.  This site’s speed is so much better than it used to be.

I guess that’s my update for now … I want to post about other things, but I’ve not come to full understanding of them yet.

Do I dare to walk in sin
To live my life giving in
To the lie: I can live however I want
And call myself a Christian

Do I dare to stand irreverently
To enter in Your presence so easily
Thinking I can meet You whenever I please
Without fear and trembling?

For so long I thought I was living for You
But all of this time I’ve been playing the fool

Like a mirror
Your holiness illuminates my sin
Lord, I don’t want to live my life
In darkness again
I want to be purified
Changed by refining fire
So I can be the light

Week after week, day after day
Listening to what You have to say
Learning Your word and knowing Your way
Do I dare to disobey?

I don’t want to fall away from the truth
But walking the narrow road isn’t easy to do
I know it will happen to me
If I don’t hold on to You

For so long I thought I was living for You
But I’m so tired of playing the fool

1 John 1:5-7 / Ephesians 5:8-10

Do I Dare by Carrie Pettit

I love these lyrics.  I was listening to a song (Life of Faith) on the radio Thursday night, and finally found who sang it.  I love her music.  Very real — very relatable.

Trust.  His trust is immeasurable.  He does trust, but how much … ?

Failure!  He’s failed.  He’s failed the one he loves.  He sees no way out.  There’s the doubt that betrays the trust.  It betrays the hope that all is not lost.  All is not lost …

Failure it is not.  Everything is not lost.  Trust is not dead.

As his understanding of even the smallest things fades into nothingness, he learns of trust.

Three hours have gone by, nothing to show for it but a failure to understand.

Five days earlier: trust.  Absolute confidence.  Firm belief.  It cannot be shaken.  Trust.  Learning to trust in the Lord with everything.  Nothing held back.  Complete abandonment.  As if jumping off a cliff, a complete, total, secure, solid confidence that the Lord will be there.  He collapses.

There he learns to trust.  In everything, his trust is in the Lord.

Here are a few scriptures for this little story (or whatever you want to call it) …

Trust in the Lord with all your heart; do not depend on your own understanding. Seek his will in all you do, and he will show you which path to take.

Proverbs 3:5-6 (NLT)

Let us hold tightly without wavering to the hope we affirm, for God can be trusted to keep his promise.

Hebrews 10:23 (NLT)

I could post many more, but I’ll leave that to you, the reader, to find.

I hate living without you
Dead wrong to ever doubt you
But my demons lay in waiting
Tempting me away
Oh how I adore you
Oh how I thirst for you
Oh how I need you

Comatose (Skillet)

Another new album that came out last week was Pillar’s The Reckoning.  Crossfire has some of my favorite lyrics in it.

I would take death before I deny you
I would cheat death just to stand by you
I would fear death if I couldn’t see you
I would take death before I deny you
Death before deny

Crossfire (Pillar)

Two great new CD’s.  They’ve been playing almost non-stop since I got them.   Casting Crowns released another live CD last Tuesday, too.  It’s been on my list as well.  Set Me Free is one of my favorite songs now.  Out of all the music I listen to, Casting Crowns is one of my favorites (mainly because they’re singing about being The Body of Christ).  So, I must also put part of their lyrics up.

As the God man passes by
He looks straight through my eyes
And darkness cannot hide

Do you want to be free?
Lift your chains
I hold the key
All power on Heav’n and Earth belong to me

You are Free

Set Me Free (Casting Crowns)

So there’s a few things I’ve been checking out and listening to here lately.  There’s been a lot of other great CD’s released lately, but posting about them all would just lead to pure boredom.

I’m attempting to restart MinistryTalk.com.  I’ve redone the layout and plan to try to move it to a new location on the server, and then advertise it.  It never really kicked off, but I think there’s much potential in it if we have some good, solid advertising.  I’ve just let Tim know of the changes, though.  I’m a part owner in the site with Tim.  The site’s not doing anything just sitting there (although it does host church messages).  That was my original idea for a site, and Tim wanted to start a ministry related site, so that’s where it came up.  I’ve saw a few other sites pop up offering church message hosting now — only they have better advertising.  I’m horrible at advertising though, so it’s hard to get a good site started.  They may have potential, but it’s harder to get them actually motivated.

Needless to say, if anyone wants to help spread the word or just check it out, head over to the MinistryTalk.com Forums.

E-Blah

I released another version of E-Blah on Friday.  So far response has been quite well — much better than the release back in August.  I’m trying to shoot for a new release every month until the start of next year.  If I make those dates is anybodies guess.  I guess there’s not much to update, other than that I’m pretty happy with how things are going.  I just wish there was more advertising behind it.