Revolution Reality

There’s an awesome Psalm that I might write more about later (along with Psalm 19, because it’s one of my favorites right now) …

This is Psalm 73, a Psalm of Asaph. Asaph had started “envying the proud when he saw them prospering despite their wickedness” (Psalm 73:3 NLT).  I’m not about to post the entire Psalm, as it’s not sort, but here’s the part I love — he realizes how “my health may fail, and my spirit may grow weak, but God remains the strength of my heart; he is mine forever” (Psalm 73:26 NLT).  Here’s Psalm 73:20-26 NLT.

When you arise, O Lord,
      you will laugh at their silly ideas
      as a person laughs at dreams in the morning.

Then I realized that my heart was bitter,
      and I was all torn up inside.
I was so foolish and ignorant—
      I must have seemed like a senseless animal to you.
Yet I still belong to you;
      you hold my right hand.
You guide me with your counsel,
      leading me to a glorious destiny.
Whom have I in heaven but you?
      I desire you more than anything on earth.
My health may fail, and my spirit may grow weak,
      but God remains the strength of my heart;
      he is mine forever.

Whom in heaven have I but you, God?  I desire you more than anything on earth.  As the Amplified version says, “I have no delight or desire on earth besides You.”  This should be our prayer.  And as the New King James says, “My flesh and my heart fail; but God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever.”

Before I close this, I probably should mention a little more about this.  I read this Psalm because I had heard a message on a podcast recently.  I liked it then and had it book marked, but while I was sick a few weeks ago, I heard a song by BarlowGirl come on ChristianPowerPraise.net which is Psalm 73 (My God’s Enough).  It’s a great song, and I recommend it.

I’ll try to skip the usual “it’s been a long time since I last posted” spill, and get straight to the point this time.

So many things are just frustrating and confusing me.  I see this and that and I push to do what is right, but there’s times where I just feel worn out.  It’s been almost five years and I have no one to confide in here.  I’m not wanting sympathy, partly because I think this is somewhat of a phase in life anyway.  If I have to stay in the wilderness (as it often appears) for the next 20 years to move to where God has for me, then I’d rather stay there.  What makes it frustrating is when some things look lost.  I don’t want to move until God tells me to move.  It’s discouraging sometimes looking at where others are and feeling there’s no hope to get even close to where they are.  I know there’s hope though.  There’s always hope.

In the mean time, I’ve been listening to my pastor at church and many different podcasts.  If it weren’t for podcasting, I don’t know where I’d be.  Lately I’ve been listening to theMill, Desperation, _tag, and the onething podcasts.

“Relief from or removal of a mental complex” or the “loss or reduction of sensitivity to infection or an allergen accomplished by means of frequent, small doses of the antigen” — the definition of desensitization. There is so much I could express and say tonight and I am deeply overcome. I cannot express even a fraction of what is on my mind. I try to push myself to accept things sometimes, but I cannot any longer. I feel alone – I am alone. I would rather be alone than compromise. There is a psychological term called desensitization that is incredibly interesting. I may not fully understand it, but gradually moving someone closer to something they fear with something positive at the same time can cause them to no longer be afraid of it. What I find interesting, is the same tactic is in use with sin – each year it goes a little further, each year what was once feared is now gradually more accepted. What was once feared and unacceptable is now acceptable. What was once dirty is now clean and okay. It’s not okay. I must protect every part of my life, and it is a battle – especially when it appears (though it is highly distorted) I’m the only one running.  Read 1 Kings 19.